The Kraken / Mythical Giant Squid

THE KRAKEN

Below the thunders of the upper deep;

Far far beneath the abysmal sea,

His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep

The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee

About his shadowy sides: above him swell

Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;

And far away into the sickly light,

From many a wondrous grot and secret cell

Unnumber’d and enormous polypi

Winnow with giant fins the slumbering green.

There hath he lain for ages and will lie

Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,

Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;

Then once by men and angels to be seen

In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

(Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

Interpretation for the Poetry-Challenged

(we cannot be the only ones out there!)

MYTHICAL GIANT SQUID

Super deep in the Ocean, deeper than the deeper depth,

Asleep dreamlessly and unbothered for a hella of a long time

The Kraken slumbers: the feeble light

Shows the outline of his enormous body: the poor lad covered from head to tail with

Huge mouldy sponges (not washing for millennia and all);

You can just about make out

From the spongy caverns

Millions of big ass anemones

Using their little tentacles to fan him and keep him cool

And so, there he sleeps for a long long time (think last ice-age)

Huge suicidal seaworms jumping in his mouth to feed him (yes… very credible, but how else will he gorge on them while he sleeps?!),

All that stops when he is awaken by a burning sensation (debate ongoing on whether this is indigestion from all the wormy feast or volcanic lava);

So, he decides now is as good a time as any to reveal himself to people and angels at least once (debate ongoing as to why angels are hanging around above an ocean)

And so, he surfaces, he roars and then poof he dies.

The end